I lost a roll of film. And the strangest thing is happening, I feel like a part of me has died. On that undeveloped roll, held pictures of my family at thanksgiving. My mom posed for a picture with my dad, while holding my my favorite dish of hers, (spinach casserole). She smiled while looking at my dad, his arm tightly wound around her. My brother jumped in the background, flexing as always. Before triggering the shutter, I held my breath and took the moment in. I closed my eyes, happy knowing that this moment was to be captured forever. It was happy.
But I left my camera downtown, at a bookstore. And I was too late going back to get it. Someone, surely, has opened up the back of the camera, excited at their new find… and just like that… the image is gone.
And I literally can’t think about anything else.
It’s so strange how we feel like we can own a territory. We idolize a territory and fight over our ownership of it. Wars are created because of this, wars on different countries and wars on the streets of our own.
Really though, none of this territory is ours. Rather, we are one with it, and one with each other. We are children of something bigger, we are all family. Territories and boundaries are only concepts developed by power and control-hungry humans.
None of this is real. Free will is an interesting thing.